Doveridge Retail Park Branch Review 24/02/09

Uttoxeter, nestled on the Eastern fringe of Staffordshire has been resisting the colonel's advances since 2003 when plans were first submitted to bring the town into the Chicken age. This rural town of 12,000 people seems to have thought itself above a ride on the gravy train. Councillors repeatedly refused to grant permission for Harland to set up shop claiming:

"It would adversely affect proposals to regenerate the town centre, as well as existing businesses"

No dispute there from me, yes it would have affected the town. . . . . . for the better!

Uttoxeter's truculent councillors could not be kowtowed to the will of the Sanders, until, thankfully recession struck. Whilst other businesses shudder to a halt the Fried Chicken juggernaut has moved into overdrive. It has clucked the trend to announce 9000 new jobs. It would have been political suicide to oppose the creation of 40 new jobs in your town during recession, as a result, the Doveridge Retail Park KFC was born on 24th November 2008. No longer would the faithful of Uttoxeter, forced to wait patiently for 5 years, have to complete the humiliating 30 mile round trip for Finger Licking Chicken.

Entering Uttoxeter at around mid day I felt like I was in enemy territory, I was in the town whose leaders did not want Chicken and they had not been afraid to show their true colours for over 5 years. Much like mediaeval times I was looking forward to entering the Chicken Church to claim sanctuary. I entered the branch dead on noon just before the lunch time rush. It was immediately plain that space was at a premium here and the planners axe had been wielded to cut away the deadwood. Thus we saw a unisex toilet, no banqueting table and a Drive Thru lane that passes perilously close to the main pedestrian access point. This places pedestrians drunk on chicken when, leaving and blinded by lust when entering at risk.

Inside, the place was spotless. I was greeted and served courteously throughout my entire transaction during which time I plumped for that bar setting staple the Zinger Tower meal with a side order of gravy.

During the wait for my meal I quickly surveyed my surroundings seeing a laminated sheet of A4 hanging below the menu gantry offering Hot Rods. Something I would love to see making a nationwide return. On the wall to my left was another laminated A4 sheet proudly displaying 5 stars awarded by an East Staffordshire restaurant inspection team.










Presently my meal arrived:

Fries: Poor

Gravy: Hot and 3 step

Zinger tower: plenty of salsa, crisp lettuce, not too much mayo, kaiser bun was dry, Zinger fillet was acceptable. What was faultless, was the construction. The hash brown sat squarely atop the fillet fused there with cheese. The symmetry was flawless, had a set square been brought into play during construction?

My burger 6/10
Overall experience 8/10

Obituary

It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that I write this. Stafford's Greyfriars KFC closed its doors for the last time after a short illness in mid February. This magnificent edifice, a shining example of early post Colonesque architecture now stands forlornly at Stafford's Northern fringe. The Restaurant was one of the 38% of company owned venues and had been a stalwart of the the Staffordshire fast food scene since the 80s.

The restaurant had been bypassed by the recent refurbishment programme that has breathed new life into many branches and initial reports upon the closure suggested Greyfriars branch was being remodelled in line with the parent company's 2006 diktat. There was palpable excitement indeed at the prospect of a refurb. The sign on the door however for those that bothered to read it exclaimed otherwise 'This Branch is now closed'.


Stafford witnessed an outpouring of grief unprecedented in its 1000 year history, local flower shops were inundated with orders and many shut their doors early with nothing left to sell. Patricia Boynes, proprietor of one town centre flower vendor said

"Of course I was shocked like everybody else, I sold out in hours but saved a £150 bouquet and laid it myself, One guy came in here and spent over £1000, it's a tragedy for Stafford and a tragedy for the country as a whole."

The Greyfriars branch closure was also surprising due to its rumoured status as a regional hub. It's unusual two floor design held substantial office space which was presumably used by the firm. What will happen to the building remains to be seen, but local firm Tushingham Moore are handling the transition period. It was this unusual two story design which attracted Unesco, who are now considering making it a world heritage site as one of the finest examples of early post colonelesque architechture in the country its transmogrification into another business therefore could be slow.

The story of its demise was recounted to me by a worker moved from the Greyfriars branch to Stafford's young pretender the Hough Retail Park Branch(HRPB). Apparently the lack of a drive through facility at Greyfriars was the death knell and was enough the spur customers on a further 1.7 miles so as not to have to leave their car. There is a worry that the move may be premature. With the HRPB only trading since November, has it been long enough to accurately formulate a business model based on the seasons critics of the closure are asking. The Greyfriars branch came into it's element during the summer months when families would flock to its patio seating area to watch enthralled as the traffic roared past them on the busy A34, a fond memory that many Staffordians will hold dearly on to.

Other fond memories are of the winter wonderland that the staff went out of their way to prepare at the the Greyfriars branch. Each year a fake Christmas tree was festooned with all manner of product wrappers lovingly fashioned into Colonel themed decorations. From freshen up wipes to Popcorn Chicken boxes, nothing was left out in the pursuit of a perfect Chickeny Christmas and the neighbourhood children loved it as one elderly local resident recalls.

"If you lived round here you always just knew when KFC had decorated their tree, there was a feeling in the air, people suddenly seemed happier it lifted everyones mood and to see the children so happy, It was as if the Colonel himself had been here"

Another wonderful feature (for me at least) of this branch which was my local was the lack of disabled parking. I was able to park right by the door thus speeding up my overall journey time from home to branch. Stafford was also noted for the extremely high quality of its gravy, some of the best 3 step I have ever encountered was served to me at this branch. This would have been a prime candidate for a gravy centre of excellence. The Colonel himself was very particular with regard to the gravy,noting in his book:

"with me gravy is a mighty important thing. Most of it I see in restaurants today ain't fit for my dogs"

As Chaucher pointed out to us though

"all good things must come to an end"

but i didn't think the same proverb applied to great things too.

Rest In Poultry
1980s - 2009

Yeehaaww! Tex Mex Wrapstar Review

The Wrapstar saw it's first appearance mid-2007, arriving on the menu as the Toasted Twister's bigger brother. Dubbed as the perfect solution for lunch on-the-go, the Wrapstar was aimed at young, busy adults and boasted a compact design fully enclosed in a soft tortilla wrap, thereby maximising portability and reducing the risk of contents spillage. Inside, the Wrapstar boasted two Crispy Strips, pepper mayo, a slice of cheese, a tostada, mild salsa, lettuce and tomatoes. It was well received, but as dg explains in his recent post Shifting Sanders, the Wrapstar was lost to the greasy graveyard of forgotten menu innovations, only to be reincarnated last year as part of the KFC AM suite, namely the AM Wrapstar. Was this the last variation we would see? Apparently not.

You can imagine my suprise (and that of fellow blogger Albad) as we arrived at Bethnal Green KFC branch for a Sunday meal. There, in the window, was a poster for the Tex Mex Wrapstar. This was the first time I had ever been made aware of new menu items by in-branch advertising - normally these new items are heavily advertisied in offline, online and television advertising. It seemed like the Tex Mex Wrapstar had appeared out of nowhere. The excitement took hold there and then, as we decided to immediately plump up the £2.99 for a meal deal.

In terms of review, there isn't a great deal to say here. The twist given to the Tex Mex is the addition of a pepperjack cheese slice and mexican salsa, supposedly giving more flavour and a fiery kick. It tasted just as I expected - good - but possibly too similar to the original Wrapstar. Sometimes I think it's not quite enough to add a single ingredient (here, salsa/cheese) and call it a new product... but at the end of the day, you can't go wrong with Crispy Strip chicken and mexican zing, a proven winning combination.

One thing I should note here, is construction. The chicken technicians at Bethnal Green KFC have never been noted for a high level of experience and craftmanship, but this was taking the piss. My Wrapstar arrived not as expected or as demonstrated in advertising material, but as a loose, floppy pouch, barely holding the contents and leaking salsa from all sides. After a couple of bites, handling it became nigh on impossible, feeling much like a bar of soap coated in grease. I resorted to picking it apart by hand and ended up in quite a mess. Thank god for the clean-up wipe is all I can say.

One month down the line, and as quickly as it arrived, it's gone. Another casualty, but one which most customers probably won't miss due to the strange lack of advertising behind it. This leaves me to wonder, was this a rare item? Possibly a smaller branch roll-out, or a market test/research for future products...we can only speculate at this stage. If you managed to experience the Tex Mex Wrapstar during it's 1 month shelf life, leave us your thoughts in the comments.

An American Odyssey, Part 2: Deliverance

The Engine of our 1.4litre Chevrolet Cobalt neither roared nor purred but occasionally if you put your foot down it could be made to meow. When Leaving Washington DC we decided to take scenic route 50. After four hours we were beginning to regret it, we were deep in the Appalachian mountains and it looked like we somewhere close to where the events described in the book Deliverance occurred.

Unlike the America we see on the television this wasn't the land of rampant consumerism, businesses seemed few and far between let alone billboards which were thus, offering only accusation and damnation.



I hoped beyond hope to see something like this:


But it never came and after 8 hours of driving it was getting dark, we were tired, hungry and I was getting worried about running out of gas.








Just then. . . . something that seemed insignificant happened, we passed over the state border, leaving plain old Virginia for 'Wild & Wonderful' West Virginia, and wonderful it turned out to be

Dont just take my word for it, ask this chap:

John Denver is thought of as one West Virginia,s greatest advocates, but that is a fallacy. His famous song 'Country Roads'' had its original chorus altered at the behest of a tyrannical record executive insistent that the track appeal to a wider demographic. When I interviewed a bitter John regarding the whole unfortunate incident he told me:

"I was just a country kid back then, I knew what I loved and that was chicken, so I wrote a song 'bout it. I just figured back then that if I got that record deal and made me a stack o' money, that I'd be able to get me as much of that finger licking chicken as possible. And yeah it paid off, I've eaten me a whole lotta chicken since that day. When Harland died I realised I'd never had the chance to say sorry for turning my back on the man who was like a father to me. Well thems was real hard times. I don't know what I'd have done if I didn't have chicken at that time, I'm not even sure if I'd still be here. I musta eaten me damn near a thousan' buckets, Sad days man, sad days."

John agreed to let me have a copy of the original lyrics (in red) as opposed to the filth that was released (in blue.)

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

Country roads, take me there
To the Chicken, I adore
Colonel Sanders, Chicken Popa
Cookin' Chicken, on the bone

It was this story that made finding a KFC in Grafton in the back waters of West Virginia so magical. Nestled as you can see amidst dense forest on route 50 as it langurously winds it's way across the country Grafton KFC reached out of the darkness like a reverse chicken lighthouse drawing modern day land mariners towards its enchanting warm glow.
And what a KFC it was, this was the paradigm, the bar against which others should be judged. This wasn't just a fast food chicken restaurant it was a dining experience. Pictures of the local football team adorned the walls, charity was prevelant but not intrusive, there were tasteful Haloween decorations (perhaps slightly premature) and many homely touches. A cruet set for example adorned each and every spotlessly clean table and there were mints along with the other condiments. Why anyone would want to purge their mouth of the flavour is beyond me but I appreciated the gesture.

Our Hostess, for that I what I would call her was knowledgable, helpful and understanding to the point of perfection. She could knock a few of those big city branches into line I thought to myself. And the food? well this was my introduction to the 'Plated Meal' Original recipe strips (great) a side of mashed potato and gravy, (good) soda (standard) and the curious american 'biscuit'. This was something akin to a plain scone which one can cover with the contents of a sachet of the Colonel's buttery spread (not to my taste).

And so we ate, said our goodbyes and went on our way into the night,revived not just by the food, but by the thought that tomorrow we'd be in the promised land. . . . Kentucky.

Coming Soon. . . . An American Odyssey Special Report~:Kentucky

An American Odyssey, Part 1: The Eastern Seaboard

Our flight landed at roughly 3 in the afternoon, we had touched down in United States of America. Land of the Recipe & Home of the Chicken.

The itinerary of the trip had been planned specifically to take in some of KFC's most ancient temples and revered monuments and relics. Along the way we planned was to seek refuge and revictualing in any of Harland's houses that we passed. Little did we expect to be so rigorously tested in the first three days.

Boston, our first port of call suffers a dearth of KFCs, we passed none during our idle wanderings around the city and resolved to use electronic means. But Google was a false prophet merely leading us astray. We walked for an hour towards what we thought was our goal but there was no chicken in sight. Defeated, we retreated to the scant comforts of base camp before the following day's outing to Salem, would this offer up the prize we strove for?

Salem is of course famous for its witch trials in 1692 in which 19 people were put to death. Had Harland Sanders been one of the pilgrim fathers and introduced his recipe at about this time the world would be a very different place indeed. I am sure that he would have been accused of black magic (for I think that the unearthly tastiness of the secret recipe is a mystery that even modern day science will never explain) but I have no doubt it would have been embraced and the USA we know today would have a distinctly different 3 letter acronym for its name!

Salem though yielded a blank and we were forced to seek pastures new on Manhattan island where our patience was rewarded as soon as we alighted from our coach by a KFC at Penn Station and my first foray into the world of The Famous Bowl.



This dish has been described by blogger Louis Fowler as

"One of the most delicious concoctions man has ever come up with"

Imagine, creamy mashed potato, rich and thick chicken gravy, sweetcorn kernels, crisp Popcorn Chicken and 3 types of grated cheese. It was good, not that I'd go as far as Louis but this was just my first foray into an exciting and exotic foreign menu.

Manhattan's KFCs however were not competition standard. Given that not many tourists make it away from major cities on the US' East Coast it seems a shame to leave them with such a poor memory of one of the US' best loved exports. Seating areas were graffitied, dips were out of stock and air conditioners dripped ice cold water onto the faithful below. We were still a long way from Kentucky though and I knew things would improve.

Whilst Philidelphia yielded no KFC, Washington DC offered a fine establisment boasting both KFC and TacoBell under the same roof a phenomenon seldom seen but that I have been lucky enough to witnessed also in Australia and Canada.

To ability to mix and match from the two menus really adds an entire new dimension to the whole dining experience.




What Washington DC also introduced to us was KFCs rival: Popeyes Chicken. A chain that worryingly commands the kind of fan loyalty seen below.


Sun Tsu in his two thousand year old tome 'The art of war' told us to

"Know your enemy"

and Popeyes in terms of food quality appeared to be a formidable opponent.




.

What both the Capital and arguably the US' most important city were lacking was a flagship store on a par with London's Leicester square branch, nothing it appeared thus far was up to competion standard.

From here however our journey began across country through the Virginias towards the greasy heart of chicken country.

Coming Soon. . . . Part 2 The Road to Louisville