BREAKING KFC NEWS - Griddled is the new fried!

KFBloggin's sources at KFC headquaters revealed to us today news so incredible, we knew, no matter what the risk, that we had to share it with you, the KFC fans across the world. We've long suspected it's, "second coming" would occur soon, but today is the day that we can proudly announce to you, that available in Woking from the second of June 2009, in Woking, KFC has introduced its new, healthier than ever: GRIDDLED CHICKEN. To quote;

The new range comes in a choice of a Griddled Chicken Ciabatta, Griddled Chicken Twister or a Griddled Chicken salad – or as part of a Griddled Chicken Variety Bucket...

...The new griddled range aims to offer customers lighter options, with the Griddled Chicken Ciabatta containing only 354 calories and 13 percent of a woman’s GDA for fat.

...(the griddled range), consists of 100% chicken breast fillets which are marinated in an exciting new signature Chimichurri flavour – a blend of herbs, roasted garlic and a touch of citrus. The marinated chicken is then cooked on a griddle in the oven to seal in the flavour.

Martin Shuker, Managing Director, KFC UK and Ireland said, “We are trialling the Griddled menu in response to the growing customer desire for new taste experiences, and lighter menu options.” Shuker added, “Our hope is that the new griddled range will become a signature part of our menu, for customers who want to try something new and exciting.”

The new Griddled chicken range will be trialled in the North East for a period of three months, at which point KFC will review the success of the initiative. Customers will be told about the new product range through a mixture of television and outdoor advertising.

Our north-eastern readers will no doubt already be on thier way out of their front doors by now in a maddened attempt to sample some delicious Chimichurri flavours, much as their american KFBrothers in arms did before them. Readers elsewhere in the UK will now be waiting 3 months or more for, Mr Shucker to give the go-ahead to launch the product in their region. Until then, feast your eyes on what you're missing out on with this delicious sample image of the new, "Griddled Chicken Ciabatta."


And as for KFBloggin's hardworking authors: road trip anyone?

My New KFC Diet

Since my return from the KFC road trip around the States I have had to cut down on the amount of KFC I'm eating. This combined with 10 hours a week down the gym have helped me loose over a stone and a half in the last month.

Though I cut down my KFC intake from 4 meals to only 2 per week I felt that I should increase the quantity.

So here is what my current plate looks like (I ate one hot wing in the car)

The Wrangham Conundrum

Whilst McDonald's and Burger King lurch from crisis to crisis, KFC marches relentlessly on unscathed whilst increasing its market share into the bargain. Having recently overtaken Burger King in the sales leagues, Martin Shuker, KFC's Chief Executive in the UK now has McDonald's in his sights, saying recently:

"I am confident and excited about our ability to grow to match McDonald's"

With only one negative trading year in the past 15 KFC has gone from strength to strength. We were unaffected by the BSE crisis of the 90s which caused our main rivals to haemorrhage customers that we happily welcomed into the fold. We were of course also unaffected by studies lambasting those who eat too much red meat as it's linked to cancer. After these two red meat centred scares there was much apostasy. We happily took the disenfranchised under our Hot Wing, inviting them along to one of our daily services and many converted. Such is the fervour of our believers that when our time came in the form of Avian Flu, this blight made little impact and the faithful still clamoured for their prayer buckets.

More recently, a new spectre has emerged to haunt us all, crossing all boundaries, obesity is the cholera of the fast food industry, no one is safe. Or are they? Step in Harvard's Dr Richard Wrangham and his research into the role of cooking in the evolution of man. His research inadvertently shed some light onto the looming obesity crisis that seems set to leave KFC above the waterline and all those who would stand in our way battered by a tide of criticism.

Originally his research was examining the role of cooking as a cause of evolutionary advancement from Homo Erectus to our present form Homo Sapien. Put simply, he theorises that cooking softens and breaks down food. Once cooked it is more easily digestible and that by expending less energy to get more out of our food, Homo Erectus' still meagre diet; could now (with the aid of the cooking process) provide more energy needed to power a more complex brain.

According to Wrangham the modern obesity crisis is caused not by overeating but by our increasing propensity for processed foods. In one of his experiments two groups of rats were fed different diets, one with hard food pellets and another on ground up and reconstituted softer pellets. Results were telling, those rats fed the same weight of food but in the softer pellet format were 30% heavier after 26 weeks.

Now, transpose those same theories onto our modern fast food industry. McDonald's and Burger King take beef and mince it, akin to mechanical mastication before reconstituting it into a very soft beef patty. KFC on the other hand uses whole unprocessed cuts of chicken which if Wrangham's research is correct will not be as fattening as our rivals beef burgers.

A letter to KFC HQ

Mr David Goodman
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Dear Sir or Madam,

We here at Kentucky Fried Bloggin’ were very excited when you launched the trial of KFC AM in London last May. Those at KFB’s head office have had the pleasure of a number of the breakfast items. However, those of us diligently working at the regional office in Staffordshire have not been so lucky. It has sadly been some time since I travelled to our nation’s capital and I’ve been unable to sample the AM menu.

I understand that the trial was to further extended to the Tyne Tees area (incidentally a region I have never travelled to for either business or pleasure), I do hope the two trials have been a success and a national roll out is to be unveiled soon? If so I would love to know when this will be exactly?

Reviews of the AM products, especially the ingredient packed AM Wrapstar have been very favourable although the bent towards possibly excessive levels of cheese has been commented upon. Only 1 item on the new AM menu is devoid of cheese and with roughly 5% of Northern Europeans being lactose intolerant, is this wise?

Whilst I’m here I’d also like to take the time to make a few additional comments on the UK operation in general. Firstly it’s great! I’ve recently completed a US tour of KFC’s encompassing Louisville, Kentucky where unfortunately the tail end of last summer’s hurricane Ike prevented us from visiting the Colonel’s grave. Another real treat was in Utah where we visited the world’s fist KFC. . . . . . a dream come true. I have some pictures if you would like to see them? American menus were so varied from branch to branch, but ultimately there was no Zing which for me is the cornerstone of my personal enjoyment of KFC. However of all the KFC’s in all the world the UK’s are the best with by far and away the best menu.

Another great thing you did in 2008 was to entirely overhaul that tired old website for the brilliant paradigm I see before me, it really is the acme of QSR websites. I particularly love the part where, when the graphics are loading, the viewer is told that the website is not ‘loading’ but that it is ‘adding secret ingredients’, genius.

Your constant commitment to product innovation should be applauded, the Flavour Station, Hot Rods (a particular favourite) the Big Daddy Burger and the Wrapstar have all tickled our taste buds in 2008 and we look forward to further innovations in 2009. However, without a doubt, the Zinger Tower burger remains the apogee of your menu.

One small gripe I have though is the ‘Contact us’ section of your website. I found no email address by which to ‘contact you’, it would be great if I didn’t have to damage the planet (and my pocket, though that’s of lesser concern to me) by sending this letter. Any plans to introduce an email contact address?

Our members also wonder if there is a way we can get a complete list of operating KFC branches in the UK in order for us to visit them all and plot our progress on a map at KFBHQ using a system of coloured pins.

We have also composed a prayer, based on the traditional Christian Lord’s prayer. It was amazing actually how easily a false idol such as Colonel Sanders slipped so easily into the role of deity. I wonder, would you like to see it?

I look forward to your reply, and hearing any comments you may have. I do hope you’re able to clear up a couple of the points for me.

Many Thanks
David Goodman

Scotland: It's a different world

Imagine my surprise and delight upon arriving into Edinburgh last weekend and finding that our hotel was a stone's throw from KFC. But wait, there's more. After a particularly boozy awards bash on Friday night I decided the only sensible cure was to pay the colonel a visit. It would seem Scotland has their own regional variations on the classic menu, including paninis! Both a spicy and italian version were available. Naturally, I opted for the latter in order to provide a better comparison to the almighty Zinger Tower and I have to say, it fared very well indeed. Soft, toasted panini, swiss cheese, a Zinger piece of chicken, sliced in half to fit the panini and salsa. Though you might not be able to tell from my lager-ravaged face, it was delicious.

A short remonstration against the obesity argument

The plea for us not to overindulge is certainly a pertinent one in the UK, when healthcare is free for all at the point of use and funded by public taxes. The current fashionable argument goes a little something like this. Why should those people who live a healthy lifestyle have to pay higher taxes to fund the treatment of those corpulent souls who do not lead healthy lifestyles?

Yes, Heart Disease is the biggest killer in the UK. But is it the greatest drain on resources? The rotund and slothful amongst us can easily counter calls for them to lose weight, do exercise etc.
Having lived a life where they have enjoyed every meal the portly people amongst us have the good grace to shuffle off this mortal coil before the onset of any of the myriad costly health problems associated with old age.

Whilst a heart attack victim may need a bypass operation, an elderly person who has eaten healthily and exercised all of their life may find that they've worn out a few of their joints and so burden the tax payer with the cost of a couple of knee or hip replacements.

A few years later their healthy cardio vascular system may be let down by diseases of the mind associated with old age. Alzheimers, strokes, parkinsons or just plain old senility, all need treatment that costs the taxpayer. The only treatment for some of these ailments is palliative. 24 Hour care becomes very costly and may be needed for years.

It begins to look then, that eating copious amounts of delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken is far from irresponsible. Remember. . . . . you're doing it for the greater good.