Kentucky Fried Christmas

Today as usual I went for my annual pre-Christmas KFC banquet. Made particularly special this year by the TLO Hot Rods Boneless box. The two of us eagerly trecked through the frost and the fog to the Stafford Hough Retail Park branch to be confronted by the most soulless space devoid of any allusion to the festive period.

No decorations festooned this branch, no Christmas muzak flowed along my aural canal and the staff, though friendly and helpful as always didn't deign to wish us a happy Christmas nor don festive attire.

Shocked, I cast my mind back to those halcyon days when Stafford Greyfriars was open (read of its sad demise here) and the scene I once saw there. Had I captured it on celluloid to share with the world, I mused as I queued today.

Not celluloid, but perhaps in binary, on an early Pre blog camera phone that just may have been languishing in the bottom of a drawer. It believed its useful life was over, and was little aware of how much Christmas cheer it could spread, if only I could persuade it to give up the KFC Christmas secret it holds, and the proof that the Grefriars KFC should have never have been closed!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I give you the most perfect, beautifully decorated Christmas tree the world has ever known as seen at Greyfriars branch Christmas 07:

KFB visits Europe's biggest KFC Part 2

Missed part 1? Read it here.

We drew ever closer to the holy land, still in awe at the sheer size of

the building. Some research prior to our trip informed us that the behemoth we were witnessing was in fact 2650 square metres in total. And they certainly put the space to good use: a covered drive-thru, 2 levels of covered parking, 2 levels of dining, an outdoor seating terrace and a children's play area (more on that later). Couple all that with between 150 & 200 seats and you can begin to appreciate that this, my friends, was epic.

We stumbled through the doors, leaving a trail of saliva behind us. Immediately our senses were bombarded - the usual delicious smell, muzak emanating from the speakers and...wait...surely not? KFC TV??? If only this music video playing channel was available on Freeview or Sky here in the UK - our TV certainly wouldn't be tuned into anything else. But enough about the building itself, 'what of the chicken?!' I hear you scream.

Being our first visit to a German KFC we knew we had to try something new (though all the usual culprits were present as well as the Griddled Chicken currently being tested up North in the UK). But as usual, with so much choice on the menu it was a lengthy decision-making process. Eventually, we settled on the Double Crunch burger along with quite possibly the greatest side dish we've ever had the pleasure of tasting (sorry, Hot Rods): chilli and cheese-topped fries! We headed out onto the outdoor terrace to begin the tasting.

Essentially, a Double Crunch consists of two Crispy Strips, cheese, mayo and lettuce in a non-Kaiser bun. Whilst it was succulent enough and certainly filled a hungover void in our stomachs, the Double Crunch lacked that certain special something only found in Zinger marinaded meat or anything Original Recipe coated. What we can attest to however was that it certainly does live up to its name - each bite resulting in a thunderous roar, the likes of which hasn't been seen since the morning after Hot Rod consumption.

So we're lead onto the fries:

Now this, my chicken-loving friends, is what we're talking about. Warm liquid cheese and spicy chilli is lovingly poured over piping hot fries and assembled into a small KFC branded ceramic tray. For our American readers out there, this is very similar to sister Yum Foods brand's Taco Bell offerings. The fries were delicious. If we had to pick holes though, it could be argued that if you don't consume them quickly enough, the fries themselves can become slightly soggy. You therefore have our OK to stuff them down with great vigour.

We were by this time absolutely stuffed but our journey didn't stop there. Oh no. Now it was time to explore the children's play area. Ok, we say play area but the only part we weren't too embarrassed to explore was a 3 storey high tubular slide. The perfect way to end a foray into a foreign chicken world, we're sure you'll agree.

And now we've hit the biggest in Europe, there is of course only one way to go: bigger. Our Dallas insiders have informed us that the world's biggest KFC is located in Quianmen, Beijing, China and stacks up at an incredible 1,285 square metres with 3 levels and 455 seats! If anybody out there would care to sponsor us, please get in touch.

TLO Hot Rods are back

Let us welcome back an old friend for his third incarnation. We first welcomed the Hot Rods box meal roughly 18 months ago and it quickly became a modern classic and firm favourite amongst the KFB team. We were therefore delighted when this reappeared as a TLO just 6 months ago and are ecstatic to see it appear yet again at this very special time of year.

KFB has made many entreaties to have the hot rod box meal added as a regular menu item much the way the Big Daddy meal and the boneless banquet have crept in. The genius here is the boneless element as opposed to the bony piece of chicken that usually adorns my box meal. Their satisfying size, texture and latent heat that unleashes itself after a few chews is incredible.

Although we've seen a 40p price rise in 18 months and the Hot Rods Box meal now costs 4.89 this is still a great product which saves me (who doesn't eat bony chicken) wasting a piece from my individual box meal.

The advertising has altered slightly with the current batch featuring a thermometer that's overheated due to being used to attempt to ascertain the heat of a hot rod. and we also now have the addition of a 13.49 family size boneless banquet featuring the Hot Rod.

And the special time of year, aside from Christmas being an important religious festival, December holds its own special significance for KFC lovers. December was the month when our lord Harland ascended to Chicken heaven from the top of mount Poultry to oversee his empire for all eternity. To be able to enjoy the Hot rod at this special time is truly a gratifying experience.

Not Much remains to be said about the Hot Rod box meal. this is a TLO at its best. You can read past reviews here.

KFC ICELAND

Always keen to push back the frontiers, KFB has visited what could possibly be the most northerly group of KFCs in the world.........Iceland.

And the reason for our visit? Well, to celebrate the recent vanquishing and subsequent departure of arch enemy, rival chain and nemesis.......Mc Donalds, who last month closed their three Icelandic branches leaving them with no presence in the country whatsoever.

KFC however retains a strong position in the country and this reporter found 3 branches without even looking for them. The country boasts at least 4 more, not bad considering the entire population of Iceland is only 300,000. That's an incredible 1 KFC per 42,000 people compared to the UK ratio of 1/75,000.

Not only do they provide the population with delicious chicken they also add to the architectural grandeur and character of the country, with the most recently constructed Keflavik restaurant (shown below) gaining plaudits by featuring in British architecture magazine Archdaily (read the article here).

But what you really want to know, how was the food?

Firstly, the menu was huge, it was how I imagine the KFCs in heaven. A large board displayed all my favourites past and present as well as a few innovative products to boot, that I'd love to see in the UK. As well as the usual OR Chicken pieces, also on offer were Zinger Tower Burgers, Zinger Boxmasters, Twisters (including a zinger twister which I'd love to see in the UK) and a TLO of the Wrapstar and the innovative Meltz (small chicken pieces in a Mexican style sauce sandwiched between a folded wrap, incidentally this product was spotted doing the international rounds in Germany 04)

The below picture show the menu options in all their glory, and note the bottom right option to add any of the 4 sauces to be slathered across your chicken. The only thing feasibly missing was the Hot Rods.

Slightly overwhelmed at first by the huge choice on offer I opted for a Zinger tower (of Course) as well as taking a Zinger Boxmaster (I had loved its British incarnation as the Blazin' Boxmaster), some Meltz and a Wrapstar as well as fries and a pot of gravy. The order was promptly prepared and I took it to our spotless table (as were they all in the restaurant) complete with cruet set........very civilized, but sadly they wouldn't last a minute in England.

And so the feast began, or at least I attempted to begin it. However, when I tried to pick up my ZT box it felt as if my burger had been substituted with a lump of lead. I soon discovered that I was not the victim of some cruel prank but the recipient of the most massive and mighty ZT ever constructed, we weren't talking quarter pounders, we weren't talking half pounders we were talking very close to the 1lb mark(of which 85% was pure Chicken). If this wasn't GM Chicken (which would be no bad thing) then I'd love to know what they're feeding them over there. I have tried to capture its awesome size in pictures but I fear I may not have done it justice.

The Burger itself was well constructed with all the key ingredients in their proper proportions somehow though it just wasn't quite right. the ETC coating tasted odd and the Zing was not as strong as our homegrown stuff, Icelandic mayonnaise too differs taking on the guise of something more akin to sour cream which was actually a very refreshing ingredient as opposed to the sometimes cloying UK mayo. 10/10 for effort but really a 6/10 for taste.

The Zinger Boxmaster too suffered a similar fate, huge size just not enough zing, the Wrapstar however was a faithful representation of its British counterpart and the Meltz were tasty, moist and very reasonably priced at 899kr.

The gravy however was a let down being described as 'bad canteen gravy' and although sporting a rich brown colour it tasted like it had only been made using half a step. The chips too suffered in the same way as their British counterparts, being very satisfying fresh from the fryer before cooling rapidly to become insipid and unappetising.

Overall, the pros:

Breadth of menus
cleanliness
portion size

The Cons:

The gravy
the chips
the fact that it was just not quite right.

Result 7/10

KFB visits Europe's biggest KFC

Here at Kentucky Fried Bloggin' we're not afraid of going to great lengths in order to further our chicken-based knowledge. So as you might imagine, when we were informed that Europe's biggest KFC was situated in Munich, Germany we immediately began planning a visit. The first thing we had to do though was to verify the size of this beast. By utilising our contacts at KFC we were put in touch with a mysterious group of characters known only as 'the Development Team' from Dallas (we kid you not). Here's what they had to say:

"The Munich KFC is certainly one of, if not the largest KFC building footprint in the world. All in all, it’s approximately 2650sm which includes a covered drive thru, two levels of covered parking, two levels of dining, an outdoor seating terrace, and a children’s play area. I don’t have the exact seating count, but I believe it has between 150 & 200 seats"

Now that is big. Really big. Armed with this information, the planning began in earnest. This complex process mainly involved the use of Lastminute.com and a credit card. With the flights and accommodation were now booked we were all set to visit the European chicken holy grail!

Fast forward to our arrival in Germany. It just so happened that our trip coincided with a hugely famous international event, said by some to be the world's biggest festival. It was called something along the lines of 'Oktoberfest'. Naturally though, this was mere coincidence. It was the chicken that had brought us all this way. After accidentally spending a day at the aforementioned festival we decided it was time to begin the pilgrimage. There was only one problem: we had no real idea where it was situated. Still, that's what the friendly folk at hotel reception are for, right? Let's just say we ended up causing a queue of around 20 disgruntled holidaymakers while we probed the staff for directions.

KFC Munich is not an easy restaurant to locate. It is far from the closest public transport links. And yet, undeterred by the disconcerting distances on the map in front of us, we struggled on, hungover but determined. But wait, what was this in front of us? A test from the Colonel himself? Yes readers, there are Golden Arches en route to the KFC. (And if you're wondering whether or not we stopped there, I suggest you stop reading this blog immediately and wash your mouth out with Chicken McNuggets) We wandered on until suddenly, a familiar shape appeared on the horizon. The 3 red letters we all yearned for...K.F.C. Was it a mirage? Could they really be that big? Would we pass out before we actually reached the holy ground? Find out in part 2 of the pilgramage post.