Halloween tales of horror: The legend of Leicester Square

If you're looking for a story to set your blood curdeling like a 5 day old krushem this halloween, look no further than this TERRIFYING tale - if you dare!



When officials from a SINISTER government agency descended upon the Coventry Street premises of KFC (possibly on a DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, although that is unconfirmed) they expected the usual high levels of quality shown at kfc branches around the world, and for the staff to have put blood sweat and tears into the production of the finest chicken products. Little did they know, the staff had been fulfilling this mandate - LITERALLY! (sound of a spooky castle)

Venturing inside, these baleful bureaucrats claim to have discovered conditions that would make the Colonel roll over so fast in his grave you could strap magnets to him and use him to power L.A - BLOOD-CAKED floors, MICE INFESTED corners, corners full of CRAWLING COCKROACHES, and perhaps most EVILY of all - A LACK OF HYGENIC FACILITIES OF HANDWASHING! (sound of a blood-soaked mummy)

Little is known of the rest of the tale, although rumours abound that KFC has pleaded not guilty on all 13 charges brought under food hygiene regulations, and has pledged to immediatly fix any problems if they have occured. KFBloggin' itself ate at the outlet only recently, and can report that the dishes that they enjoyed were of excellent quality and the staff were courteous and fast despite how busy they were. In fact, none of our hard-eating reporters suffered any ill effects at al-HHUURGH OH NO IT'S THE CURSE OF THE LEICESTER SQUARE KFC, RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES DEAR READERS, I'M UNDERGOING A HIDEOUS KAFKAESQUE TRANSFORMATION AND YET STILL HAVE THE TIME TO TYPE OUT THIS COMMENT! ARRGHHHhhhh...

EDITORS NOTE - We discovered no remains of the author of this article - just a CHICKEN siiting at his desk. BEWARE!

Tooting branch: The UK's latest opening KFC

We all know the drill. The end of a boozy night approaches and there's only one thing on your mind: chicken. Thankfully, the late opening of most KFC branches means your fowl thirst can be quenched right up until 2am in some cities. Today though a KFB tipster has sent us this top secret document displayed in the KFC Tooting branch's window.



Yes you read it right folks. 4am opening. Is this in fact the latest opening KFC in the UK? KFB are already planning a 4am road trip. Will they just have original recipe pieces left at that time of the night or will the veritable Zinger Tower still be on the menu? Only time will tell.

Ghetto Chickenst*r

They've taken they're time to get a handle on this, but last month Loaded magazine's Malcolm Vex, the self styled 'Voice of da street' weighed in with his views on the KFC Str££twise menu.

The Str££t wise menu has been with us for a little over 12 weeks now and I've been surprised to get some good reports. People have been generally responding well to the price and although haute cuisine this isn't, this is a way to get your Chicken fix for just 99p. Although the Mini fillet falls just outside of this price bracket at £1.19 it is the best product to adorn the advertising placards by a mile.

KFB reviewed the Str££twise menu shortly after its inception, read our views here, or, for a more ghetto take on the streetwise offerings click to enlarge the image and read Malcolm Vex's viewpoint.

Whilst Mr Vex upholds the pricing as good value, he seems affronted by the portion sizes. KFB however just like to see the Colonel popping up in such exciting places as the hood.

Branch Review :Stetchford

It has been a very long time indeed since I have had a 2 week interval between KFCs. However this fate befell me whilst I was out of the country for two weeks visiting Cuba earlier this month, ostensibly as a tourist, but really checking out possible restaurant locations prior to the removal of the US embago.

After one week without Chicken I had become a little tetchy, after two, unbearable. I resolved that my first meal back should be at KFC Stetchford, located in a Birmingham suburb.




It's address:



Church Road
Yardley
Birmingham
B25 8UX

Situated in a modern building which it shares with a boots pharmacy, this was a good clean and modern branch. At 4pm there were a few customers, but not too many. I had to wait a short while for my Zinger Tower but when it was delivered, it was hot and fresh and well proportioned.

My fellow diners agreed that their pieces of chicken bore all the hallmarks of freshly cooked fayre, steaming hot, moist and juicy.

The gravy here was ok, but can only been given a 5/10. It was satisfactory 1step, but nothing to blog about.

The anciliarry items island AII was well stocked and a casual customer could want for nothing.

Overall

Zinger Tower 7/10
Branch 7/10

KFC- Buffalo Toasted Twister (TLO)

Launch date: Monday October 19th 2009
End Date:Sunday November 29th 2009

Following the impressively named but in fact lacklustre "BBQ BEAST BOX" this TLO is a more modest offering. It's simply a £2.99 speciality toasted twister which can be turned into a meal with regular chips and drink for a further pound.

I rated this particular offering mere hours ago at the newly refurbished Festival Heights branch in Stoke- On-Trent. Although at ten to five, and so well outside any peak hours where one can expect the freshest products, I was served an exemplary Buffalo Toasted Twister.

It was tightly wrapped and evenly toasted, although the Chicken and lettuce wasn't crowning the top of the wrap quite as majestically as the advertising literature has suggested (See bottom Picture). However, its demure appearance only served to pique my interest further and I unashamedly moved in for the kill and took my first bite.

The Chicken was hot and fresh, and a wave of sweet BBQ sauce engulfed my mouth but was quickly tempered by the sour tang of the buttermilk from the ranch dressing before a third dimension of savoury cheese flavour completed this backwards cycle that had begun sweet, before culminating on satisfying savoury notes.

At this point i carefully reverse engineered the product to take this picture of a magnificently constructed piece of art:

To avoid 'wrap syndrome' I ate from the other end and then continued to devour the entire offering. This was hearty fayre, and scored over the last TLO by palliating what had been the unremitting BBQ sauce with, in this instance the ranch & cheese.

Possibly the addition of a further ingredient to freshen the taste would add slightly to this TLO or just the addition a little more lettuce to leave the palate feeling more cleansed.

This is a good solid offering from Luis and his team.........KFB endorses it. 7/10

Guess who?

Answers in the comments please...