Friday, 30 October 2009

Halloween tales of horror: The legend of Leicester Square

If you're looking for a story to set your blood curdeling like a 5 day old krushem this halloween, look no further than this TERRIFYING tale - if you dare!

When officials from a SINISTER government agency descended upon the Coventry Street premises of KFC (possibly on a DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, although that is unconfirmed) they expected the usual high levels of quality shown at kfc branches around the world, and for the staff to have put blood sweat and tears into the production of the finest chicken products. Little did they know, the staff had been fulfilling this mandate - LITERALLY! (sound of a spooky castle)

Venturing inside, these baleful bureaucrats claim to have discovered conditions that would make the Colonel roll over so fast in his grave you could strap magnets to him and use him to power L.A - BLOOD-CAKED floors, MICE INFESTED corners, corners full of CRAWLING COCKROACHES, and perhaps most EVILY of all - A LACK OF HYGENIC FACILITIES OF HANDWASHING! (sound of a blood-soaked mummy)

Little is known of the rest of the tale, although rumours abound that KFC has pleaded not guilty on all 13 charges brought under food hygiene regulations, and has pledged to immediatly fix any problems if they have occured. KFBloggin' itself ate at the outlet only recently, and can report that the dishes that they enjoyed were of excellent quality and the staff were courteous and fast despite how busy they were. In fact, none of our hard-eating reporters suffered any ill effects at al-HHUURGH OH NO IT'S THE CURSE OF THE LEICESTER SQUARE KFC, RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES DEAR READERS, I'M UNDERGOING A HIDEOUS KAFKAESQUE TRANSFORMATION AND YET STILL HAVE THE TIME TO TYPE OUT THIS COMMENT! ARRGHHHhhhh...

EDITORS NOTE - We discovered no remains of the author of this article - just a CHICKEN siiting at his desk. BEWARE!

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