Monday, 2 November 2009

Newcastle-Under-Lyme KFC: Branch Opening


It is not often that KFB gets to visit a new branch on the day it opens, what with the daily grind and constraints of work. However this new branch in Newcastle-Under-Lyme is a mere stones throw from my place of employment. After work I headed straight there to sample what I hoped would be some fine cuisine and to witness history in the making.

This new branch is situated on Liverpool road at the site of the former Hanging Gate public house. However the old building has been demolished to make way for a purpose built state of the art eatery. Here is the first look:

Visited 2nd November 2009 (opening day) 6pm.

OVERVIEW
At 6pm this was peak time and I could only just fit through the door before being confronted by a rather large queue. Although there are other more established branches within just a couple of miles of this new one it seemed that many curious Novocastrians had flocked here in their scores to appraise this new and seemingly welcome feature of the town.

Having always played second fiddle to nearby Stoke-On-Trent, Newcastle will welcome the advent of this new era, seeing itself as finally having achieved parity with its nearby rival in the fine dining arena, by finally witnessing the arrival of KFC.

This restaurant does have a provincial air about, it is small, with at most, seating for 40 hungry diners. Its decor is of course modern but features low easy benches to better accommodate the slower pace of life out of the capital. I personally find these lounge style benches unconducive to serious eating and prefer to see branches with the banquet table, which nearby Fenton branch boasts. This restaurant also offers a Drive Thru facility to increase its rate of sales. It is located on a busy thoroughfare and looms invitingly to the hungry passing motorist.

CLEANLINESS
On this occasion the restaurant was spotless due to its infancy, although the tables could have been cleared a little more often. This minor indiscretion can be forgiven however due to the busyness of the branch at the time.

TOILETS
Its toilet facilities are also noteworthy and have been witnessed in a few of the smaller branches, one unisex cubicle that also accommodates any disabled patrons is all that is on offer. However during this particularly busy visit this limited number seemed to cause neither problems or queues.

THE STAFF
There were a many staff who seemed (as it was the first day) to know what they were doing. I saw only 'team members' as opposed to any white shirted 'team leaders' but the apparent lack of figurehead hadn't left the team rudderless and they functioned well. They were however as usual let down by customers whose aural skills were laughable. I saw one staff member become irritable after he had shouted out an order which remained unclaimed after his fourth clear and loud proclamation of its readiness. In KFBs book if you have ordered and are waiting for food then the onus is on you to keep your attention focused in order to claim it as soon as it is ready.

THE ZINGER TOWER
This is the yardstick by which each branch can be measured. This particular burger impressed. It was well constructed needing no realignment, the hash brown perched squarely atop the fillet which itself sat squarely on the bun, there was plenty of salsa and the lettuce as usual was verdant, crisp and plentiful, whilst the amount of Mayonnaise was not overpowering. The Hash brown was well cooked and crispy. The burger had been sat for a couple of minutes as evidenced by the advanced melted state of the cheese, its overall taste though showed it had not sat too long. The Fillet itself had plenty of zing and the ETC coating was just perfectly balanced between crispy but not overcooked. The Chicken could have been slightly more juicy and the sesame kaiser bun was slightly over toasted. Overall the ZT 8/10

THE GRAVY
A poor one step though allowable in this instance as there probably wasn't yet any crackling to produce that fine 3step we all know and love.

THE CHIPS
I Lucked out and obviously enjoyed some chips from a fresh batch. Hot, crispy and delicious.

ANCILLARY ITEMS ISLAND
Each item bin contained its designated offering although one or two of them were running low and as all the staff seemed to be busy behind the counter I wonder how long it was before one or more items was unavailable.

What disappointed about this particular visit was the lack of celebration that a new KFC had sprung into existence. This should be celebrated by opening offers or even at least a banner with a proclamation of greetings. Sadly there was utterly no indication that this restaurant had opened this very day. However despite this, this has the potential to be a great little restaurant, although a bit too far out of my way to visit often. There will be a follow up to this post in a couple of months to see how this restaurant has continued to fare.

Overall Rating 7/10

Friday, 30 October 2009

Halloween tales of horror: The legend of Leicester Square

If you're looking for a story to set your blood curdeling like a 5 day old krushem this halloween, look no further than this TERRIFYING tale - if you dare!



When officials from a SINISTER government agency descended upon the Coventry Street premises of KFC (possibly on a DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, although that is unconfirmed) they expected the usual high levels of quality shown at kfc branches around the world, and for the staff to have put blood sweat and tears into the production of the finest chicken products. Little did they know, the staff had been fulfilling this mandate - LITERALLY! (sound of a spooky castle)

Venturing inside, these baleful bureaucrats claim to have discovered conditions that would make the Colonel roll over so fast in his grave you could strap magnets to him and use him to power L.A - BLOOD-CAKED floors, MICE INFESTED corners, corners full of CRAWLING COCKROACHES, and perhaps most EVILY of all - A LACK OF HYGENIC FACILITIES OF HANDWASHING! (sound of a blood-soaked mummy)

Little is known of the rest of the tale, although rumours abound that KFC has pleaded not guilty on all 13 charges brought under food hygiene regulations, and has pledged to immediatly fix any problems if they have occured. KFBloggin' itself ate at the outlet only recently, and can report that the dishes that they enjoyed were of excellent quality and the staff were courteous and fast despite how busy they were. In fact, none of our hard-eating reporters suffered any ill effects at al-HHUURGH OH NO IT'S THE CURSE OF THE LEICESTER SQUARE KFC, RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES DEAR READERS, I'M UNDERGOING A HIDEOUS KAFKAESQUE TRANSFORMATION AND YET STILL HAVE THE TIME TO TYPE OUT THIS COMMENT! ARRGHHHhhhh...

EDITORS NOTE - We discovered no remains of the author of this article - just a CHICKEN siiting at his desk. BEWARE!

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Tooting branch: The UK's latest opening KFC

We all know the drill. The end of a boozy night approaches and there's only one thing on your mind: chicken. Thankfully, the late opening of most KFC branches means your fowl thirst can be quenched right up until 2am in some cities. Today though a KFB tipster has sent us this top secret document displayed in the KFC Tooting branch's window.



Yes you read it right folks. 4am opening. Is this in fact the latest opening KFC in the UK? KFB are already planning a 4am road trip. Will they just have original recipe pieces left at that time of the night or will the veritable Zinger Tower still be on the menu? Only time will tell.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Ghetto Chickenst*r


They've taken they're time to get a handle on this, but last month Loaded magazine's Malcolm Vex, the self styled 'Voice of da street' weighed in with his views on the KFC Str££twise menu.

The Str££t wise menu has been with us for a little over 12 weeks now and I've been surprised to get some good reports. People have been generally responding well to the price and although haute cuisine this isn't, this is a way to get your Chicken fix for just 99p. Although the Mini fillet falls just outside of this price bracket at £1.19 it is the best product to adorn the advertising placards by a mile.

KFB reviewed the Str££twise menu shortly after its inception, read our views here, or, for a more ghetto take on the streetwise offerings click to enlarge the image and read Malcolm Vex's viewpoint.

Whilst Mr Vex upholds the pricing as good value, he seems affronted by the portion sizes. KFB however just like to see the Colonel popping up in such exciting places as the hood.

Branch Review :Stetchford


It has been a very long time indeed since I have had a 2 week interval between KFCs. However this fate befell me whilst I was out of the country for two weeks visiting Cuba earlier this month, ostensibly as a tourist, but really checking out possible restaurant locations prior to the removal of the US embago.

After one week without Chicken I had become a little tetchy, after two, unbearable. I resolved that my first meal back should be at KFC Stetchford, located in a Birmingham suburb.




It's address:



Church Road
Yardley
Birmingham
B25 8UX

Situated in a modern building which it shares with a boots pharmacy, this was a good clean and modern branch. At 4pm there were a few customers, but not too many. I had to wait a short while for my Zinger Tower but when it was delivered, it was hot and fresh and well proportioned.

My fellow diners agreed that their pieces of chicken bore all the hallmarks of freshly cooked fayre, steaming hot, moist and juicy.

The gravy here was ok, but can only been given a 5/10. It was satisfactory 1step, but nothing to blog about.

The anciliarry items island AII was well stocked and a casual customer could want for nothing.

Overall

Zinger Tower 7/10
Branch 7/10