Tuesday, 9 June 2009


It is again with great sadness that I report to you the closure of one of KFB's favourite branche's: London's Farringdon Branch at 48 Cowcross Street, London.

Sadly Farringdon which served us well especially ALBAD was not shut by some diktat from up on high within the company, but was cut down in the prime of its life, by beuracrats who have, at least, unwittingly authored their own demise.

I remember fondly a lunch meeting I shared there with ALBAD, it was a mere stones throw from the Farringdon tube stop and was serving excellent Blazin' Boxmasters. I have no doubt that in time the KFC's of central London would have become synonymous with the cafe's of Paris' left bank, places where KFB's members philosiphised upon and shaped chicken thinking for decades to come. whether this shift in dynamic can be harmlessly absorbed remains to be seen.

The worst part about this tragedy is that the very reason for its closure undermines and makes unfeasible the project that has precipitated its untimely demise. . . . . in short a paradox is being created.

The official line on the closure is this:

"With reference to the Farringdon store, I asked the question and we have had to close our Farringdon restaurant after a compulsory purchase order under The Crossrail Act."

London's crossrail project, a farce over 20 years in the making. Billions of pounds of taxpayers money is being spent on an infrastructure project that, yet again serves only the South East, rushed through as a political expedient to shore up our ailing governments profile amongst voters.

This money could have been better spent providing new, and improving existing local transport links to KFC across the country. Better still long awaited plans to introduce KFC and Colonel Sanders to the national schools curriculum in replacement of one of those fad subjects maths, science or English could have been realised. Instead, A branch is being destroyed. So where does the paradox come in?

Well, when conducting market research and feasibility studies for this dispicable project the people of Essex and Surrey were asked if they wanted improved transport links into central and across London. The answer was invariably yes. But what the people were not asked was why they were clamouring to get to London. It was just assumed for work, but the real reason is Chicken. Everyone wants to visit a busy city centre branch with high food turnover and so hot and delicious meals every time. Farringdon sits at the very heart of the project and is the epicentre of London chicken culture. And so, what the planners have failed to realise is this:

If you take away the chicken, you will take away peoples need and desire to travel into London, thus invalidating the entire project, dooming it before it's even begun, and leaving a cancerous artery snaking its way through this once great city!

However hope may be on the horizon, for head office has sent us word,
"We are looking at sites in the local vicinity and I will keep you posted if I hear of anything further."

But just as the Jews are more interested in visiting the site of their first temple in Jerusalem destroyed by the Romans, rather than embracing new religious sites, echoes of that self same situation can be seen over 2000 years later here in London.

1 comment:

Harjit Sandhu said...

LOL, Hilarious... i was wondering why it closed... now i have to go to marks and spencers for lunch :(... but on the plus side i wont be getting as fat any more!