Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Colonelator 3000

The video at the bottom of this post Shows the Colonelator' capabilities in the labs. For the full back story read the post, or, just head to the bottom.

The idea for the Colonelator 3000 was inspired by two recent events in my life. Neither was significant when taken alone, but together they triggered an epiphany and my subsequent & sudden inventive streak.

some weeks ago (months now, the project has been more challenging that I first envisaged) I suffered a cold. One symptom of which was a blocked nose, a further corollary was that my usual ability to detect KFC simply by using my Jacobson's organ was severely impaired. For some further information on this oft thought vestigial organ please follow the link.

Usually within half a mile of a KFC I began to sense its presence, and was able to navigate my way there. Being without this function for a week severely limited my diet.

The second thing that happened was that I re-watched one of my favourite films, Commando starring the paragon of acting talent that is Arnold Schwarzennegger. In one scene our hero John Matrix is informed he has been targeted for assassination. His friend and superior officer assigns two of his best men to guard Matrix. Minutes later Arnie grabs his young daughter Jenny and throws himself and her to the ground moments before a hail of bullets is targeted at them by attackers. then this exchange takes place when Matrix, easily the most experienced there takes command of the situation telling one of his would be protectors:

"Remember they're down wind, your scent might tip them off"

"You think I can smell these guys"

"I Did"

Like me Arnie displays a similar talent. He can detect terrorists, I can detect chicken. what I didn't realise until that point, and obviously neither did Arnie, is that this is by no means a universal trait. I began asking around and, confirming my suspicions found that fewer than 1/10,000 people can detect chicken without the aid of KFC's store locater.

The store locater has undoubtedly made things easier and is the most popular application on the website. However what if you want a KFC on the fly, you aren't at home, don't have access to a 3g mobile internet enabled device, and cyber terrorists have struck rendering the internet defunct?

Then you need the Colonelator 3000. A totally self contained and portable unit that can also come equipped with a solar cell for use in a post apocalyptic world without batteries. The project has involved some major backers and collaborators and I am currently in talks with major electronics and automobile manufacturers for a large scale roll out. The short video below traces the development of the Colonelator from its nascent stages through to calibration and lab tests. I welcome your comments.

1 comment:

paulbot said...

utter. genius. you have excelled yourself this time dg, i literally cant wait for some field testing in part 2: Road Trip. Great work